Relationships, who would have them right? They are the best things, yet the worst things combined. They are never easy, you have to fight to push through them, you often go through ups and downs and can sometimes question whether you really want to be in one. But for me, relationships are some of the most incredible moments of my life...
I have always been someone who puts my all into a relationship, what can I say, I am a pure sucker for love. I love to love, I love to feel loved, and I always love making others feel how much they are worth. It's one of those blessing and curse kinda things I guess, because when it goes wrong, it hurts even more than before.
AND THEN you have to reintegrate yourself back into society, back into the world you thought you had left behind. I am SO good at thinking...this time, this person, this is the one. Anyone else? Honestly, even at 28 I still get love drunk by a charming jawline and the person who talks about the future with me, will it ever end? Anyway, those moments after where you fear the worst, you fear bumping into them, sharing your space with them again, letting them go and move on when you aren't ready, even if you show externally you are.
But all is okay, you can take your sweet ass time, you can hurt and cry, but at some point you have to pick yourself up, change your mindset and remind yourself that you will be okay, you aren't a failure and somebody is out there who is deserving of you & your energy. Recently somebody said to me that they will continue to re-hash their failed relationships and I just wanted to wrap them up and tell them that if they continue to punish themselves, even if they were the one who pushed the person away, they will never let someone in who will truly be that magic in their life that they are deserving of.
Remember here, your mindset, everything that you do during your reintegration will set you up for your future. I know that it's now okay to still hurt, still cry, still feel sick to your stomach when the person you once loved pops back into your life, its how you then pick yourself back up after that counts.
For me, daily reminders of my self worth, movement, friendship and writing tells me that I will be okay, and somebody is out there that is deserving. But remember, during your reintegration, whether you were the dumper or dumpee, don't categorize yourself as a failure, as a workaholic, as a cheat, as destined to be a spinster with cats and all the other excuses, because I assure you, even as I sit and still hurt, you will find the addition to your life that you deserve and that deserves you.
When you change the way you think, anything is possible.