I recently read my post about finding my eat, pray, love & party, and it honestly makes me howl, thinking back to that point in my life that I would meditate daily, enjoy smoothie bowls & only leave Dubai for 70 days. Here I am 6 months later and I'm thinking...hold up, what was I looking for again?
Ah yes, I was looking for that Bali magic that would turn any frown upside down. Well, luckily for you lot I did find the magic, I found the magic in various ways...but not that much partying, minimal yoga, zero smoothie bowls & a whole lot of, wait...what the fuck was I searching for again?
Making the choice to move to Bali was the best move I ever made, everyday I wake up in Bali I have a choice with what I do with my day, who I see, how I move my body and whether or not I want to put an actual bra on. Today was a bra day, today was also a day that I spent my whole day in bed, surrounded by friends, intermittently crying. But that's okay, I'm still looking for that thing...you know...It's big and its umm? It can...? I don't know myself, I don't know any of the answers, what I'm looking for, how long I'll be here for, whether I'll ever go back to teaching, whether I'll meet the man of my dreams (looking unlikely), or whether after all that fuss I made if I'll end up back in the UK after all (pray to all above that I don't).
But do we really know what we are looking for in life? Isn't that the exciting part about living? The unknown. I fully believe in manifesting, writing down you goals and dreams, changing your thought process to alter the choices in which you make and how you go about your day to day life. But do we still really know what we are searching for? Because so far I have searched for the best places for pancakes, the best yoga classes, the best boxing coaches annnnd the best place to buy bikinis, or cheap tampons (soz, not soz...stock up on that shit girls).
You have all the answers yourself, it's a matter of changing your own thoughts, repeating that shit until your brain re-wires itself to believe everything you are saying. You have the power within you to make the shift, to do what you love, but don't go in search of something that you have no idea about, because in the end if it's meant to happen it will, otherwise, you just end up deflated and wanting to give up.
So, next time I preach eat, pray, love, tell me to shut the fuck up. We're all in search for something, but deep down, we have it all already.