Strip it back & get naked with it, feel the uncomfortable rise up within you and just try and get to know it. What the fuck are you talking about Steph, I hear you ask...Well, what I'm talking about here are those deep set fears, the things you push away, ignore, refuse to acknowledge, the things you keep making excuses for...it's time to get them out, and allow others to see what is really underneath. So, lets get nakey!!
Recently, I had an energy healing and she told me I had 6 walls up around my heart, 2 of which were failure and unworthiness towards relationships. Failure is always something I've feared, I think most of us fear it. I feared being a failure in the eyes of my parents, failing myself with my studies, jobs and more recently its failing in relationships. I've moved across the world to Bali, fumbling around trying to figure out my path in life and what I really want to do, the failure of that doesn't scare me, but it's the failure of putting myself into somebody else's life and not doing well at it.
This is where the unworthiness steps up, when I was 20 I was in an extremely abusive relationship & in turn I ended up abusing myself, I thought I had recovered from this and moved forward and found myself to be deserving, but in reality I genuinely think I am unworthy of more. I've allowed myself to be let down by others, to hold back dreams, to put myself last, because I always want those I love to achieve. I don't think it's something I was completely aware of until more recently, when I kept being told that I deserved more, and deep down I knew they were right, but I just didn't think I was and thought that I could continue in the way in which I was going. In the end...they were right, and then the energy healer secured all this for me. Fantastic.
Anyway, these fears scare the shit out of me, I want to feel worthy and I want to face failure and be okay with it. So what I have begun to process is that, by understanding those deep set fear of ours, voicing them & sitting with them, we can begin to connect with ourselves on a deeper level, knowing our worth, and stepping our game up as a whole. It's sitting with the uncomfortable and being comfortable with it, it's writing down what you really want and not holding back. Why do we continually worry about shit in advance? It helps nobody, so what I write down now is that I am deserving, I want a life filled with love, I want a life of working for myself and kicking ass & that fear of failure doesn't hold me back, because I know when you change your mindset, make the choice and face your fears, the changes you make in your life will be nothing but great!
So, what I ask of you is to be open with yourself, write down what terrifies you deep down, not that scared of heights and flying shit, I'm talking the deep set emotional crap nobody wants to think about, and then write down everything you want, don't hold back. Because when you become aware of the things you really want in life, those ridiculous fears will become a thing of the past.
Don't let your fears stop you from moving forward, you are deserving, always have been, stop putting yourself down and go fucking get it!